Sargi – When one classmate in Comparative Vertebrae was stuttering because he was nervous, our professor said: “Do you know what differentiates us from lower animals? Our spine. Show yours.”
Sherwin Marcelo – Our college prof: “Be ready for a surprise quiz tomorrow.”
Babyjen – When our teacher asked if there were any scholars in class, I raised my hand. She then said: “I hate scholars.”
Zeni Grand - My male teacher answered, after I asked the difference between mystery & miracle: “When you get pregnant, that’s a mystery. If I get pregnant, that’s a miracle.”
Geronimo – Priest in our collage: “Ang bunga ng edukasyon ay depende sa tao. Tulad ng tubig, pag ininom ng baka, ginagawang gatas na masustansya. Ngunit pag ininom ng ahas, ginagawang lason na nakakamatay.”
Pipit - Sa PLM, may isang shed doon na kung tawagin namin ay “gay factory”. Kasi lahat ng tumatambay doon na lalaki, nagiging bading.
ACER – During a hands-on pig castration, my face squirmed when I finally made a slit on d pig’s jewels. My professor said: “Huwag mo kasing imagine-in na yung iyo yan!”
No name – On our 1st quiz in finance, the professor told us to write an essay similar to a mini-skirt: “short enough to be interesting, but l0ng enough to cover the essential parts.”
Carebear – I took to heart UP’s saying that: “Do not let your academics ruin your education.”
Astroboy – One thing I learned in U.P.: Suggested readings are MANDATORY.
SC – A classmate who never went out with us explained: “Kapag maganda ang anak, mahigpit ang magulang. Sana maintindihan ninyo ang mga magulang ko.”
Maomao – During Biology class, a classmate actually asked our prof: “Sir, what if while a guy and a girl are doing ‘it’, naihi yung lalaki?”
Kat – Overheard in our university. Girl 1: “Let’s buy dinner!” Girl 2: “What do you plan to buy?” Girl 1: “Uhm…dinner.”
No name – In Clinical Chemistry, we need to study all sorts of bodily fluids, including sperm. So our male classmates would supply us girls with fresh sperm to count for our exercises.
MNEMONIC – In the men’s toilet, may chewing gum na nakadikit sa wall with the caption: ” Dito idikit ang nalalagas na pubic hair para di magbara ang bowl. from: d’ janitor”
Cheezy Jen – We used to have a female prof who’s so enormously well-endowed, that everytime she wrote on the board, everything chest-level is erased.
No name – Law prof: “You start preparing for your board exams on the first day of law school.”
Eylek – Our teacher said: “Our lesson for today is Algebra.” Becaue i was noisy, she asked me: “What is Algebra?” I answered: “Our lesson for today?”
Nenz – A note in the U.P. Manila library: “Keep Quiet – GOD (Guard On Duty)”
Meg of UPLB – In UPLB, there’s a superstition that if you have your picture taken with the Oblation, you won’t graduate on time. They say the same with the other university icons like Mariang Banga and Pegaraw.
Forg – Prof: “Don’t make me angry. Whenever I get upset, a calamity hits the country!”
Gooey Kablooey – From our U.P. philosophy professor: “I ask God, if there is a God, to save my soul, if there is a soul.”
Nobag – Prof: “Why did you bring your cat to school?” Girl: “Naawa po ako, kasi sabi ng boyfriend ko, ‘Tomorrow, I’ll eat your pussy!’”
Boknoi – True story: During oral recitations in our anatomy class, the teacher asked a male classmate of mine what is the external genitalia of the female called. My classmate said: “Alam niyo ma’am, di ko masyadong maalala, but it was at the tip of my tongue this morning.”
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